Just before Christmas 2004 I went to visit my mother in her care home as usual ( I was there at least 5 nights a week)but.... my mam wasnt there anymore. This simpleton had taken her place. My poor mam. Gone "simple", "nice but dim". I was hit by grief, grieving for my mam that was (is ) still alive. It never goes away. I visit her daily, I mean EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. I remember in December 2005 the doctor came to increase her dosage of Haloperidol (he doubled the dose-dont know why she was on that shit in the first place tho, turns out she was actualy being given TRIPLE by the "care" home. Feb 2006 hospitalised five and half weeks, Aug 2006 back in hospital again for three and half weeks. May/June hospitalised again 4 weeks in total, given 50/50 chance of living/dying. All medication was ceased, she was "delerios" most of the time so unsafe to administer medication. Mam recovered, never went back on Haloperidol. AND IT WAS LIKE SHE CAME ALIVE AGAIN. Looking back to end of June 2008 when she was back in the care home and she was scofting food by herself and drinking full mugs of tea and talking FULL SENTENCES...I suddenly realised..THIS is how she should be, not the person who would hardly speak. The person who I would feed each day at evening meal time.(and take about 40 minutes to get through it because of having to be so careful) But anyway, she has Vascular Dementia as far as Im aware. "Nice but dim" is what I call it, yet at the same time she can be horrible, not nice. Strange behaviour,referring to herself as "we", not I or me. Slapping her mouth because of coughing or saying "its".(she would say "its" repeatedly, I never fathomed out what it means-if I asked her what "its" was about she'd just laugh) Swearing at the carers, calling black carers/nurses n*****s, its been absolutely horrendous. Yet just lately when I visit and she is watching a good movie, particularly a musical the change is amazing. You wouldnt think there was much wrong with her. She loves musicals like "Show boat", or "Brigadoon", or stuff by Mario Lanza,when theyre on its incredible, she becomes so bright and "normal" its amazing. But like i say, the major difference took place when she stopped having that Haloperidol. Im mentioning this repeatedly because I hope it might help other people out there because I think medication is actually part of the problem. I feel that my mothers abilities to function were taken away from her for a long time,and I also feel that she became CLOSE TO DEATH because of afore mentioned medication, so...watch out.

Christopher, I understand your concerns. I consider myself lucky that I have a number of 'Doctor' friends, and have long ago released them from what I call, "The Pedestal Expectation". By that I mean I recognise them as fellow human beings and not infallible Gods, (which they are certainly not)!! Like good plumbers and bad plumbers, we get pot luck in the NHS, (as you would all over the world, not just the NHS), and you need to balance your assumption that they're doing the right thing with basic observational common sense.
That's fine for me to say, but I personally know it's not that easy, and I too feel frustrated by the drug regime that seems to be the first port-of-call for dementia sufferers. My partner is, (I assume?), at the relatively early stages of Vascular Dementia and he came back from our GP with a prescription for 'Mirtazapine'. It was only after noticing quite significant negative changes in him that I read the paperwork in the box and was shocked to see it was an anti-depressant. Long story but I came to the conclusion that this seemed to have been prescribed simply because he had answered the question, "How do you feel about having Dementia?", with what I consider an understandable, "Pretty unhappy", that the first solution the GP came to was to give him an Anti-depressant. I think that the problem was enhanced by the possibility that my partner had severe side effects to the drug, but I felt so frustrated & angry not knowing what to do. I know every case is different and what works for one, may not work for another, but it's a bit of a shock to the system when you realise as a partner/carer, you really have to pay attention to everything, as your loved one can no longer do it for themselves!
So, my advice to anyone visiting this excellent site at the early stages of Dementia is get sorted NOW and start paying attention to what those pills are for, (and read what possible side effects there might be), as it certainly doesn't get any easier, (you just get better organised!), so start sooner rather than later.
P.S. My partner is now on 'Cipralex' which seems to suit him better. I'm not particularly happy about it but I'm watchin'.......Watch this space!!