"Dementia is easy to say and easy to write but not so easy to understand"
Where do I start?
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I'm trying to help a family I'm close to. The parents are very elderly and can't manage. Their daughter has made them a new home but she herself is disabled and can't do everything on her own. If we can get her parents to move into this new home they will be with their daughter however the father is in dementia and the mother is deaf and can't communicate anymore, bearly gets around at all. They are currently on their own with know help and I'm trying to find the right services to approach in order to help them make this move and find them some in home help as they are not able to cope with the running of a household. I really need advice on where to start. I would think they should be evaluated by professionals and seen by doctors but how can I arrange for this? Any advice would be appreciated.
Please call the social services adult helpline in their area and explain what you have explained here to them. You could also call the local adult community mental health team, usually found at your local hospital. These can all assess the situations of the family and provide help or help them find the help they need. They should also apply for attendance allowance and carers allowance and then usually get discount from their council tax, all of which can help pay for help needed whether physically or/and by buying equipment in the house. If they are financially able to pay for help you could ask your local social services for contact details of care and homecare agencies they use. I hope this is of help.
Hullo All,
I would like to introduce myself as I saw the leaflet about this site at my local GP surgery recently and felt compelled to visit it. I am employed by the Alzheimer's Society in Wales. I am an Advocate for people with Dementia. I cover the whole of Monmouthshire. I am passionate about my work as are my colleagues. Most of us have had personal experience of a loved one with Dementia and that motivates us greatly towards our aims.
There are branches of the Society in most areas and information and support (one to one or group) can almost always be accessed. Out-reach workers can assist with form filling and guidance re: benefits etc.,
We also have a befriending team that can assist.We have a Development Officer for Younger people with Dementia-(that is those under 65 years of age) who arranges lots of activities for carers and cared for to take part in. Unfortunately due to funding we are not able to offer some of our more specialised services in all areas but are working towards that goal on a daily basis- eg. For those who live in Caerphilly borough there is an excellent service offering support for younger people with Dementia-(under 65's.)
We are also able to do what we know is vitally important and that is to listen. When those that should be aren't, we can liase for you so that they are aware of your concerns.
Nationally we have a helpline too and this can be accessed via our website -Alzheimer's Society. Our Wales office is In Cardiff and can be contacted on 02920 480593- and my contact number is 01600 719692.
I am so pleased that you will all have the opportunity to benefit from this on-line forum and would like to pass on my kind regards to Jill-it's founder.
A carer i worked with once passed on a saying to me that i would like to pass on to you who may be reading this-''Happiness is a place that can be found again and again and again''....even if at this point in time it seems an imposssibly long way away.
I do not underestimate the way your lives are shaped by the day to day demands of any aspect of Dementia. Please contact us if we can be of any help to you. Kim (Andrews).
I would like to introduce myself as I saw the leaflet about this site at my local GP surgery recently and felt compelled to visit it. I am employed by the Alzheimer's Society in Wales. I am an Advocate for people with Dementia. I cover the whole of Monmouthshire. I am passionate about my work as are my colleagues. Most of us have had personal experience of a loved one with Dementia and that motivates us greatly towards our aims.
There are branches of the Society in most areas and information and support (one to one or group) can almost always be accessed. Out-reach workers can assist with form filling and guidance re: benefits etc.,
We also have a befriending team that can assist.We have a Development Officer for Younger people with Dementia-(that is those under 65 years of age) who arranges lots of activities for carers and cared for to take part in. Unfortunately due to funding we are not able to offer some of our more specialised services in all areas but are working towards that goal on a daily basis- eg. For those who live in Caerphilly borough there is an excellent service offering support for younger people with Dementia-(under 65's.)
We are also able to do what we know is vitally important and that is to listen. When those that should be aren't, we can liase for you so that they are aware of your concerns.
Nationally we have a helpline too and this can be accessed via our website -Alzheimer's Society. Our Wales office is In Cardiff and can be contacted on 02920 480593- and my contact number is 01600 719692.
I am so pleased that you will all have the opportunity to benefit from this on-line forum and would like to pass on my kind regards to Jill-it's founder.
A carer i worked with once passed on a saying to me that i would like to pass on to you who may be reading this-''Happiness is a place that can be found again and again and again''....even if at this point in time it seems an imposssibly long way away.
I do not underestimate the way your lives are shaped by the day to day demands of any aspect of Dementia. Please contact us if we can be of any help to you. Kim (Andrews).
Hello to any of you out there who read this. I live in Carnarvon Western Australia and my father and I are caring for my mother who has dementia. We both know that she is not going to get any better, but is there anyone who can suggest ways of coping with the ever changing moods that she has. We both understand that to help a dementia patient, you have to keep them in what is called the "happy" phase, but my mother appears to want to stay in the "unhappy" phase all the time and it is making life for my father and I very difficult, not knowing what to do to please her. She is so negative all the time and no matter how hard we try, we cannot seem to do anything right. Any help would be appreciated and if any person wants to continue to talking by email to help, I would be only appreciative to do so. Many thanks. Eileen Hollamby.
Hello Eileen. Jill here. Carnarvon, Australia. Suddenly the world is a very small place! First of all let me express my admiration for you and your father. What you have got is not an easy task as anyone who has been in a similar position will know.
I have thought a lot about your situation and am wondering about the following:-
1. How far into Dementia is your Mum? Does she still have some insight? If so is she worried about illness, the future or something that is playing on her mind?
2. Could it be a physical problem worrying her increasingly confused mind? i.e. Teeth, feet, eyes, constipation or some ailment she is unable to describe to you?
3. What part of her earlier life made her happy? i.e. Young married, teens perhaps - you are looking for a way in.
4. Could she be distracted by a change of activities. I used to take my husband for a short car ride when he became depressed and we would stop to look at stuff in the here and now. Talk about it and drive home. It would often change his mood.
5. Are there any local agencies who could help you? A day centre, perhaps, so you and your father could get a short break.
I know it is easy to make all these suggestions - I'm not the one who is having to cope but if you could explain her present level of dementia in a little more detail maybe I or anyone else reading your email could come up with something. There is much advice on coping strategies available but I imagine you already know about those. The mother of a friend of mine turned from a happy go lucky lovely lady into one who was continually angry or sad as her dementia continued but eventually she became more relaxed. Please email again, Eileen. It would be helpful to have just a little more detail. All the best
Jill.
I have thought a lot about your situation and am wondering about the following:-
1. How far into Dementia is your Mum? Does she still have some insight? If so is she worried about illness, the future or something that is playing on her mind?
2. Could it be a physical problem worrying her increasingly confused mind? i.e. Teeth, feet, eyes, constipation or some ailment she is unable to describe to you?
3. What part of her earlier life made her happy? i.e. Young married, teens perhaps - you are looking for a way in.
4. Could she be distracted by a change of activities. I used to take my husband for a short car ride when he became depressed and we would stop to look at stuff in the here and now. Talk about it and drive home. It would often change his mood.
5. Are there any local agencies who could help you? A day centre, perhaps, so you and your father could get a short break.
I know it is easy to make all these suggestions - I'm not the one who is having to cope but if you could explain her present level of dementia in a little more detail maybe I or anyone else reading your email could come up with something. There is much advice on coping strategies available but I imagine you already know about those. The mother of a friend of mine turned from a happy go lucky lovely lady into one who was continually angry or sad as her dementia continued but eventually she became more relaxed. Please email again, Eileen. It would be helpful to have just a little more detail. All the best
Jill.
Roy has had Alzheimers for nine years. He has been in Whitchurch Hospital for one year and the patients have recently been moved to Iowerth Jones Llanishen. The problem is he will not eat or drink and refuses to lift his head up making it very difficult for staff to feed him, it took an hour to try and get food into him. Has anyone any ideas? This was happening before the move so that isn`t to blame, this is now about five weeks. The Staff ask me to get him to drink but he does`nt know me anymore and its heartbreaking.
My Mother is 96 and is well looked after in a very good nursing home. She is showing increasingly frequent signs of dementure. I struggle with with irrationality at the best of times so am concerned I will not deal with her condition as well as I should. Can anyone recommend a book on the subject that might help me prepare for her becoming worse?
how can I get my mum to shower its a constant struggle she gets so angry for the least thing.?
Dear Madge.
You didn't say whether your mother has already been diagnosed with a form of dementia. If she has and her doctor, or memory team or community nurse or social worker are keeping an eye on her then I can only suggest you explain the situation to them. If they know about it they can propaply prescribe a mild sedative that will calm her down enough for you to cope.
If not or you don't wish her to have any medication then the only other thing I can suggest - through my own experiences is to use distraction. Don't argue or try to persuade but think about something or someone she can relate to; get into conversation about that and maybe you can manage her while her mind is elsewhere.
Maybe playing a piece of music she likes could do the trick but if none of these things work - get professional help. if they don't know about it then they cannot help you.
Sorry I cannot be more specific but it sounds to me as if you need help. Good luck, my dear and don't forget - the trees won't mind if you curse and swear at them. It helped me!!!
Jill.
You didn't say whether your mother has already been diagnosed with a form of dementia. If she has and her doctor, or memory team or community nurse or social worker are keeping an eye on her then I can only suggest you explain the situation to them. If they know about it they can propaply prescribe a mild sedative that will calm her down enough for you to cope.
If not or you don't wish her to have any medication then the only other thing I can suggest - through my own experiences is to use distraction. Don't argue or try to persuade but think about something or someone she can relate to; get into conversation about that and maybe you can manage her while her mind is elsewhere.
Maybe playing a piece of music she likes could do the trick but if none of these things work - get professional help. if they don't know about it then they cannot help you.
Sorry I cannot be more specific but it sounds to me as if you need help. Good luck, my dear and don't forget - the trees won't mind if you curse and swear at them. It helped me!!!
Jill.
