"Dementia is easy to say and easy to write but not so easy to understand"
Some problems are solvable.
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Thanks to a wonderful group of people here in Cardiff I had a phone number I could ring and help was at hand. Sometime it was for practical matters, sometimes it was financial or emotional or just having an understanding person on whom I could offload my frustrations. If you are out on a limb and don't know where to turn to for help then send a message and hopefully someone can help.
Maybe you are the son or the daughter of someone in this situation and want to talk. I know of a teenager who frankly is furious that her beloved Dad is on the journey into dementia.
Maybe you are the son or the daughter of someone in this situation and want to talk. I know of a teenager who frankly is furious that her beloved Dad is on the journey into dementia.
Iam trying to find someone who can help me care for my Mum who is suffering from vascular dementia and my Dad who is 84 with heart problems. My husband works aboard and at the moment is unable to return I would very much like to visit him but cannot seem to find a personal carer that could help support my parents when I am away. Please could you point me in the right direction. Many Thanks Carole
Iam trying to find someone who can help me care for my Mum who is suffering from vascular dementia and my Dad who is 84 with heart problems. My husband works aboard and at the moment is unable to return I would very much like to visit him but cannot seem to find a personal carer that could help support my parents when I am away. Please could you point me in the right direction. Many Thanks Carole
Dear Carole Jones-Mathias.
Thank you for your email.
I am pretty sure I can point you in the right direction to discover what can be done to help you in your situation. Unfortunately the answer depends on so many things so I'll list some of them.
If your mother has been diagnosed with vascular dementia I imagine she must be on a recorded list somewhere. Doctor, Memory Team for example. Maybe they could advise.
If she is getting gradually more poorly then maybe there is a social worker involved or maybe she attends a day centre. They could advise.
If your parents live in an area where adult mental health is quite well supported then you could well have access to someone in your nearby Community Mental Health Services For Older People Team or the local Alzheimer's Society.(They help with all types of dementia and not only Alzheimers).
I am certain any of these groups of people can give you advice.
You do not say whether your parents live alone or if they are in your care. You may be able to get respite care for them but the complications of that can be tricky especially if means testing is involved for finding out if any financial help is available. If you go down that route I would strongly advise you to discuss that with a soliciter before commiting figures to paper.
If you are lucky enough to live in the Cardiff and the Vale area then why not telephone the Cardiff and the Vale development health project and ask them to send you a copy of their excellent guide to older people's mental health services called 'DIRECTIONS'. You will get so much help from that book. Their number is - 029 20222000. Speak to Matt or Caroline,ask them to send you a copy and tell them Jill spoke to you through this website. It would be so useful even if you live elsewhere as there is so much information in it that is helpful where ever you live and you could look out for similar addresses in your own county. It also has some brilliant chapters on helping carers with the actual hands on day to day caring for people with dementia. It really is good.
It sounds as though you really could do with the break and don't forget, considering what you obviously are already doing for your mother and father you have absolutely no need to feel bad about wanting to be with your husband.
Good luck. I do hope this will have been of some help. Please write again about anything that is bothering you.
Yours
Jill.
Thank you for your email.
I am pretty sure I can point you in the right direction to discover what can be done to help you in your situation. Unfortunately the answer depends on so many things so I'll list some of them.
If your mother has been diagnosed with vascular dementia I imagine she must be on a recorded list somewhere. Doctor, Memory Team for example. Maybe they could advise.
If she is getting gradually more poorly then maybe there is a social worker involved or maybe she attends a day centre. They could advise.
If your parents live in an area where adult mental health is quite well supported then you could well have access to someone in your nearby Community Mental Health Services For Older People Team or the local Alzheimer's Society.(They help with all types of dementia and not only Alzheimers).
I am certain any of these groups of people can give you advice.
You do not say whether your parents live alone or if they are in your care. You may be able to get respite care for them but the complications of that can be tricky especially if means testing is involved for finding out if any financial help is available. If you go down that route I would strongly advise you to discuss that with a soliciter before commiting figures to paper.
If you are lucky enough to live in the Cardiff and the Vale area then why not telephone the Cardiff and the Vale development health project and ask them to send you a copy of their excellent guide to older people's mental health services called 'DIRECTIONS'. You will get so much help from that book. Their number is - 029 20222000. Speak to Matt or Caroline,ask them to send you a copy and tell them Jill spoke to you through this website. It would be so useful even if you live elsewhere as there is so much information in it that is helpful where ever you live and you could look out for similar addresses in your own county. It also has some brilliant chapters on helping carers with the actual hands on day to day caring for people with dementia. It really is good.
It sounds as though you really could do with the break and don't forget, considering what you obviously are already doing for your mother and father you have absolutely no need to feel bad about wanting to be with your husband.
Good luck. I do hope this will have been of some help. Please write again about anything that is bothering you.
Yours
Jill.
